Double Post

So I know I already posted earlier today but...well I have alot on my mind :)

Small Groups started tonight and I am so excited for it! These Jr. High girls add meaning to my life, honestly, I love them. I am so glad they are a part of my life.
I had to leave ealry tonight to go visit a counselor from Northwest (school I have been hoping to transfer to in January) and the girls went crazy!
" I'm going to pray you don't get into the school! "
" you can't leave us!"
Aw my heart melted. I didn't think about how sad it would be to leave them. It really would. I spend more time with them than my own family it seems like haha. I would miss them ALOT ALOT!!

So this counselor guy helped me and my parents out a ton when we went to visit the school back in February. For the curious ones go check out the school here, www.Northwestu.edu. So he was going to be in town tonight at a college fair. I went to talk to him about my application which I already sent in. It went very well. He said he was hoping to be the one to read over my application so was waiting until he got back home. He understood though that I'm in this totally anxious place of "where the heck am I going to be in a couple months," so he said he would call the school and get someone to look over it. He took my cell number and said he would call when he heard.

I love this school. It's so not at all where I would have pictured myself after high school but I feel so at peace about it. Like I'm supposed to go there. It's a tiny tiny school. He said they will probably only get 50 new students in the next semester. It has two dorm buildings. One for girls, one for guys. The only thing I can compare it to is CBU, but smaller. It's in Kirkland, Washington which is absolutely beautiful! I could go on forever about it...

The thought of moving totally freaks me out though. I am excited beyond belief about it, but it does scare me. I mean I have lived here in Riverside my entire life. Same house and everything. Riverside is full of people who have lived here there whole lives. My parents...born here... grew up here...STILL HERE. I just don't think that's for me. I want to see what there is out there. Meet different kinds of people. Experience God outside of this bubble. It's scary thinking about moving...but I want to so so bad. I need to try it for myself.

So that was my night. :) Great I know.
Today sucked though...emotion wise. I just though too much about all the things that have gone the opposite way I have wanted them to. Things that I know if they had gone the other way, could have been good. It's so absurd how much hope I put in things and people on this earth. I need God and only God. That's the lesson I need to learn before I can handle getting what I want...ay I dunno.

goodnight for now.
long day tomorrow.