I have no school tomorrow.
BEAUTIFUL.
This morning started off well. I got an A on my math test which blew my mind because I have the definition of idiot for a teacher. So that made me happy.
Yesterday was a jammed packed, busy, emotional rollercoaster of a day.
I went to eat with Jane and Rachel who I lived with in Louisiana. ( You two may be the only ones who read this as of now but I wanted to explain that anyways )We lived in the same houses for six weeks, Rachel and I sharing a bed every night. We talked about Louisiana memories for an hour or so and we could have gone on for hours more but Jane had prior engagements. We laughed so hard remembering all the ridiculous moments like Jane losing her shoe, or Rachel being sick on the way to Flordia, and wanted to cry remembering all the moments we wanted to just pack up and come home. I love them. So so so much and if I had any pictures on my computer I would post them. We had quite the experience in Louisiana and I love that we share that. Coming home I realized no one would understand what I went through and the emotions I felt while living there. I couldn't make anyone really get it, but they get it. I am so glad I still have them to go to when I have done nothing but think about Louisiana all day long, which happens alot.
shout out to the ladies : let's do that every month :)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Double Post
So I know I already posted earlier today but...well I have alot on my mind :)
Small Groups started tonight and I am so excited for it! These Jr. High girls add meaning to my life, honestly, I love them. I am so glad they are a part of my life.
I had to leave ealry tonight to go visit a counselor from Northwest (school I have been hoping to transfer to in January) and the girls went crazy!
" I'm going to pray you don't get into the school! "
" you can't leave us!"
Aw my heart melted. I didn't think about how sad it would be to leave them. It really would. I spend more time with them than my own family it seems like haha. I would miss them ALOT ALOT!!
So this counselor guy helped me and my parents out a ton when we went to visit the school back in February. For the curious ones go check out the school here, www.Northwestu.edu. So he was going to be in town tonight at a college fair. I went to talk to him about my application which I already sent in. It went very well. He said he was hoping to be the one to read over my application so was waiting until he got back home. He understood though that I'm in this totally anxious place of "where the heck am I going to be in a couple months," so he said he would call the school and get someone to look over it. He took my cell number and said he would call when he heard.
I love this school. It's so not at all where I would have pictured myself after high school but I feel so at peace about it. Like I'm supposed to go there. It's a tiny tiny school. He said they will probably only get 50 new students in the next semester. It has two dorm buildings. One for girls, one for guys. The only thing I can compare it to is CBU, but smaller. It's in Kirkland, Washington which is absolutely beautiful! I could go on forever about it...
The thought of moving totally freaks me out though. I am excited beyond belief about it, but it does scare me. I mean I have lived here in Riverside my entire life. Same house and everything. Riverside is full of people who have lived here there whole lives. My parents...born here... grew up here...STILL HERE. I just don't think that's for me. I want to see what there is out there. Meet different kinds of people. Experience God outside of this bubble. It's scary thinking about moving...but I want to so so bad. I need to try it for myself.
So that was my night. :) Great I know.
Today sucked though...emotion wise. I just though too much about all the things that have gone the opposite way I have wanted them to. Things that I know if they had gone the other way, could have been good. It's so absurd how much hope I put in things and people on this earth. I need God and only God. That's the lesson I need to learn before I can handle getting what I want...ay I dunno.
goodnight for now.
long day tomorrow.
Small Groups started tonight and I am so excited for it! These Jr. High girls add meaning to my life, honestly, I love them. I am so glad they are a part of my life.
I had to leave ealry tonight to go visit a counselor from Northwest (school I have been hoping to transfer to in January) and the girls went crazy!
" I'm going to pray you don't get into the school! "
" you can't leave us!"
Aw my heart melted. I didn't think about how sad it would be to leave them. It really would. I spend more time with them than my own family it seems like haha. I would miss them ALOT ALOT!!
So this counselor guy helped me and my parents out a ton when we went to visit the school back in February. For the curious ones go check out the school here, www.Northwestu.edu. So he was going to be in town tonight at a college fair. I went to talk to him about my application which I already sent in. It went very well. He said he was hoping to be the one to read over my application so was waiting until he got back home. He understood though that I'm in this totally anxious place of "where the heck am I going to be in a couple months," so he said he would call the school and get someone to look over it. He took my cell number and said he would call when he heard.
I love this school. It's so not at all where I would have pictured myself after high school but I feel so at peace about it. Like I'm supposed to go there. It's a tiny tiny school. He said they will probably only get 50 new students in the next semester. It has two dorm buildings. One for girls, one for guys. The only thing I can compare it to is CBU, but smaller. It's in Kirkland, Washington which is absolutely beautiful! I could go on forever about it...
The thought of moving totally freaks me out though. I am excited beyond belief about it, but it does scare me. I mean I have lived here in Riverside my entire life. Same house and everything. Riverside is full of people who have lived here there whole lives. My parents...born here... grew up here...STILL HERE. I just don't think that's for me. I want to see what there is out there. Meet different kinds of people. Experience God outside of this bubble. It's scary thinking about moving...but I want to so so bad. I need to try it for myself.
So that was my night. :) Great I know.
Today sucked though...emotion wise. I just though too much about all the things that have gone the opposite way I have wanted them to. Things that I know if they had gone the other way, could have been good. It's so absurd how much hope I put in things and people on this earth. I need God and only God. That's the lesson I need to learn before I can handle getting what I want...ay I dunno.
goodnight for now.
long day tomorrow.
Taste Is Gone
My taste is completly gone.
I hate it.
I love my food...but tasting it, I have realized, is the best part.
Sickness can leave me any time now that would be great.
Anyways, this weekend I pretty much slept the entire weekend. It was quite nice especially since it finally cooled off around here. Made it feel like October! Go figure. Sunday I made my way to Sandals though and was so glad I did! Matt did a great job pretty much summing up how I feel about the church and politics. Something I never knew how to explain. I don't want to quote him wrong so I'll just sum it up the way I took it. He pretty much explained how our freedom we get from God. It is not something we had to earn, it is a gift to us, an amazing gift. Who are we to take away freedom from others? Only God can do that. So vote in the way you feel God telling you, based on what you believe. Don't vote to vote Jesus into office, it is not going to happen. No one can be Jesus for America but Jesus. I just absolutely enjoyed everything he had to say.
Small groups for Jr. High start tonight. I'm beyond excited. I love the girls I have been meeting and getting to know. I can't wait to get to know them even better while learning more about God together. What a great night it will be :)
...On my way to the doctor with mi madre.
Maybe I'll get some starbucks out of it ;)
I hate it.
I love my food...but tasting it, I have realized, is the best part.
Sickness can leave me any time now that would be great.
Anyways, this weekend I pretty much slept the entire weekend. It was quite nice especially since it finally cooled off around here. Made it feel like October! Go figure. Sunday I made my way to Sandals though and was so glad I did! Matt did a great job pretty much summing up how I feel about the church and politics. Something I never knew how to explain. I don't want to quote him wrong so I'll just sum it up the way I took it. He pretty much explained how our freedom we get from God. It is not something we had to earn, it is a gift to us, an amazing gift. Who are we to take away freedom from others? Only God can do that. So vote in the way you feel God telling you, based on what you believe. Don't vote to vote Jesus into office, it is not going to happen. No one can be Jesus for America but Jesus. I just absolutely enjoyed everything he had to say.
Small groups for Jr. High start tonight. I'm beyond excited. I love the girls I have been meeting and getting to know. I can't wait to get to know them even better while learning more about God together. What a great night it will be :)
...On my way to the doctor with mi madre.
Maybe I'll get some starbucks out of it ;)
Friday, October 3, 2008
And the greatest of these is love
Why is it that typically, not all the time, but typically, people who don't follow Jesus are so much more accepting of me than those people who do?
I just got done studying with two girls in my oceanography class. Well the studying only lasted about 10 minutes until of course we start talking about ex-boyfriends and relationships. The conversation then leads to the question, " So how many times have you had sex with someone?" Just straight up, just like that. Maybe it's because I constantly am surrounded by my friends from church but, that was the first time I have ever been asked that question and it took me back a little.
" Oh me? Well um I haven't had sex."
" Are you serious?"
" Yes, I'm actually saving myself, for when I get married."
They didn't say anything for a few seconds haha, I felt a little awkward because I barely even know these girls. So they asked
"Well is it because you have never had a boyfriend?"
" No, I have had a boyfriend. I don't have sex because of my commitment to God."
" Ooooh, so your really religious?"
" Well, I have never liked putting it that way but yes I believe in God."
The next hour our books were closed and we talked about God, religion, and sex. Half way through i realized something. They don't live the way I choose to live, they don't follow Jesus, yet I felt like they were so genuine and interested in who I was as a person and in what I believed. Now why was I not the same for them? I wanted to be.
So I just started asking them tons of questions, trying to get to know them as much as I could, I mean, they now knew I was living for God, following Jesus. My commandment is to love them and to be intentional with them wether they know that about me or not.
It blew me away. How much they cared about my life, about me. I can truely say that even with my closest friends, especially in the church, I have only felt that way a few times.
Why?
It almost makes me angry.
Pray for me, and pray for the church that follows Jesus, that we can love the way these two girls loved me today.
I just got done studying with two girls in my oceanography class. Well the studying only lasted about 10 minutes until of course we start talking about ex-boyfriends and relationships. The conversation then leads to the question, " So how many times have you had sex with someone?" Just straight up, just like that. Maybe it's because I constantly am surrounded by my friends from church but, that was the first time I have ever been asked that question and it took me back a little.
" Oh me? Well um I haven't had sex."
" Are you serious?"
" Yes, I'm actually saving myself, for when I get married."
They didn't say anything for a few seconds haha, I felt a little awkward because I barely even know these girls. So they asked
"Well is it because you have never had a boyfriend?"
" No, I have had a boyfriend. I don't have sex because of my commitment to God."
" Ooooh, so your really religious?"
" Well, I have never liked putting it that way but yes I believe in God."
The next hour our books were closed and we talked about God, religion, and sex. Half way through i realized something. They don't live the way I choose to live, they don't follow Jesus, yet I felt like they were so genuine and interested in who I was as a person and in what I believed. Now why was I not the same for them? I wanted to be.
So I just started asking them tons of questions, trying to get to know them as much as I could, I mean, they now knew I was living for God, following Jesus. My commandment is to love them and to be intentional with them wether they know that about me or not.
It blew me away. How much they cared about my life, about me. I can truely say that even with my closest friends, especially in the church, I have only felt that way a few times.
Why?
It almost makes me angry.
Pray for me, and pray for the church that follows Jesus, that we can love the way these two girls loved me today.
Movies
Why are they SO dang expensive now a days! I put down the rest of my money(literally) to see Eagle Eye last night, I think that if it wasn't for me being so tired...it would have been way worth it. It really was a good movie though! Technology is crazy.
In other news, I woke up feeling sick this morning. Ya know that sick, scratchy feeling you get in your throat a couple days before you really get sick? Ya...woke up with it this morning. And tonight is broom hockey!! So not a good combination. I don't want to break my record and actually sleep at church tonight. Lame. We will see how it goes.
In other other news...I have great friends, great supporters, great people in my life who keep me accountable and encourage me when I feel I have no one. Thank you all for that :)
peace
In other news, I woke up feeling sick this morning. Ya know that sick, scratchy feeling you get in your throat a couple days before you really get sick? Ya...woke up with it this morning. And tonight is broom hockey!! So not a good combination. I don't want to break my record and actually sleep at church tonight. Lame. We will see how it goes.
In other other news...I have great friends, great supporters, great people in my life who keep me accountable and encourage me when I feel I have no one. Thank you all for that :)
peace
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Feeling Lame
Life doesn't make sense to me sometimes.
BLAH.
I am so not motivated at all right now...and I don't just mean right now, it has been like this all week. I am so sick of waking up at 5:45am, so tired of taking classes I really do not care about. I'm just not motivated. This needs to change
In other news, the new thought of the week is, God is the one and only who will never leave me. He is going to stick around no matter what. Praise him for that.
chao
BLAH.
I am so not motivated at all right now...and I don't just mean right now, it has been like this all week. I am so sick of waking up at 5:45am, so tired of taking classes I really do not care about. I'm just not motivated. This needs to change
In other news, the new thought of the week is, God is the one and only who will never leave me. He is going to stick around no matter what. Praise him for that.
chao
Sunday, September 21, 2008
My blog is U.G.L.Y
BUT I HAVE HOPE!
i have quite a few friends who blog so I'm hoping they will give me some tips ( hint hint)
So I really want to keep up with this.
To update...this weekend has sucked.
Life keeps changing and becomming what I don't want it to be.
But I knew I wouldn't go long without being dissapointed, I mean, I live in a world that is bound to dissapoint me, there is only one who never will and he is not of this world.
Holding on to that...
i have quite a few friends who blog so I'm hoping they will give me some tips ( hint hint)
So I really want to keep up with this.
To update...this weekend has sucked.
Life keeps changing and becomming what I don't want it to be.
But I knew I wouldn't go long without being dissapointed, I mean, I live in a world that is bound to dissapoint me, there is only one who never will and he is not of this world.
Holding on to that...
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